I got a book that was rec'd by M's therapist called the Transgender Child by Stephanie A. Brill and Rachel Pepper. I'm only on page 8 and am already toting it to whoever may need it out in the world. I even rec it to the parents of grown transgenders. It will help them understand the growth and they may even say...ah HA!!!
I got a comment from Lori about how fast I'm accepting all this. Ironic, as I had been thinking the same thing. However, I have to realize that it wasn't in March, when M told me that she thought that she was confused that I knew this. I can look back and tell you that M was never your typical child. M was totally different. Sports was huge in M's life. M was also on the BOYS lacrosse team from 4th-the beginning season of 7th grade because they didn't have a girl's team until 8th grade. She did 8th, but hated it. She didn't like the girls' dynamics in both the sport or the attitude. Looking back, I can see the depression started when she quit the boys lacrosse. M was treated so poorly by the team, that she actually felt sexually harassed. When I confronted the coaches, they told her to go to the girls team. Back then I had a hard time dealing with anything that would be involving the law and ethics, so M just transferred to the girls' team, and enjoyed the first year. After 2nd year, M lost all interest in sports.
Needless to say, up until a couple years ago, it's been a tough road, but we're stronger, and M is stronger because now M has an identity, and I have the acceptance to finally face it.
Because this isn't anything new in what I consider M's way of living, I think I've been able to understand things faster. In actuality, I honestly think that the binder will be something that M isn't ready for, only because it is something that will physically make her look different (we actually aren't endowed in that dept, so it's not going to be a huge shocker when it's on). It's more something that shows her that I'm okay with this, and M can work through the steps that are necessary.
Make sense? Would love your comments or concerns. BTW, didn't get to Capitol Hill today, only because I didn't realize how behind on summer school she is and vid-con's hanging in the air like a golden carrot to a horse.
You didn't accept it faster because M was different, you knew M was different because you were accept your child as he is.
ReplyDeleteMany parents refuse to see that their child is "different" - both while it's going on right before their eyes and in retrospect. They fall into a deep denial that their child was anything other than what they chose to see. You saw the whole rainbow from the beginning, and that already proves you were ready to take in the rest with an open mind and an open heart.