Saturday, August 13, 2011

Talk and See

I've noticed that I get into myself when it comes to a lot of things in my life lately. I forget to call out to God for my help. He has still helped me through the help of you and just words that come into my head. I, however, don't like the fact that I haven't sought Him out like I normally would. Today, after letting M know that I had some issues of anger over all of this, which I can't quite figure out, but is there, I started questioning. I prayed to God on my way home to give me the help I need. To help M keep looking up to Him also. As I was hauling groceries in, Matthew 12:22 came to mind: "Then they brought him a demon-possessed man who was blind and mute, and Jesus healed him, so that he could both talk and see." I had thought that this passage meant that any ailment we had would go away when calling on Jesus, but when this came to me, I realized it's not necessarily the ailment (and I say ailment loosely, so PLEASE DON'T TYPE A "LOVE" NOTE TO ME!!) that goes away, but the shame I may feel of how society would view this.
You hear the evangelical shows with the miracles, and that's great and all, but there are so many others who don't receive the miracle of physical healing so dramatically, and please understand, I've seen these things with my own eyes and believe them, but I asked for this to go away at one point. Just as I asked for my bi-polar disorder to go away, my mom to be able to walk, my fat to melt off my body, etc. It didn't. What did happen was that I learned that it doesn't matter what people think. They have their own ideas. I also learned that people love M just the way he is. I see that by the response that people who have been informed about M's transition letting M know that he's still loved (and most are not surprised). I heard a great song today. I love it. It called to me today. K. That's all.


  1. It's obvious to me from the things you express, that you truly do love M unconditionally with all your heart and soul.

    In the long run, THAT is the only thing that matters. Everything else, all the other little things, will have to organise themselves to accommadate that because (I think) actual true unconditional love conquers all.

    M is truly fortunate to have you, I think you're a special person, someone I'd feel privileged to know.

    You also appear to have excelent taste in music ;-) (don't prove me wrong now!)

    I hope you're well.