I have been working in a temporary position for five months now. One thing I know is that they aren't going to hire me. However, yesterday, when I was helping my supervisor with resumes (I honestly hate this job so much that I'm helping with resumes), and specifically asked, "what is the biggest strength you want?" She replies "hee hee--they have to be an awesome scheduler." Now, I know I suck at schedules. I pity the poor people who got scheduled incorrectly under my watch. I KNOW I have done the very best I can to schedule people, and sometimes I have a rigid spine, and sometimes it turns to jelly, but it still stings when, in not so many words, I am told that I suck at my job in the most important way. Now, by the age of 40, I dreamed that I would have this awesome backbone that was rigid and tough, and no one would be able to shatter me. HA! At 40 I'm far from that, but one thing I found I AM good at is rolling with the punches, for the most part.
When Owen came out, I was concerned about what other people thought, how they would react, whether I would be friends with them again, and all the things that I used to deem important. You find out really quick how unimportant that can be. I know that I have re-hashed this story many times, but I really honestly think that, if it wasn't for Owen, I would not have changed as much as into the person that I needed to be. Yes, I still wonder what others think, and I will always be concerned about the crime rate among LGBTQ people, but the wondering about things is wondering, not CARING, and the fact that I have a person who I get to see blossom in so many ways, makes me happy. And, do you know what? Most of my friends who I had to tell are STILL my friends. Some don't understand, some do, but they are still friends who love the person that is Owen. It is through them, along with my new friends, that I learned how to figure this whole thing out! Now to just get the job I want. :)
The one thing about going through transition is that you learn who your friends are, the ones that drop away are soon replaced with new ones and those that stick by you are real ones that, even though they don't always fully understand, you know are going to be there when you need them.
ReplyDeleteSo true, Jenna!
DeleteJesus, have mercy on her soul...
ReplyDelete