The "Come to Jesus" letter

Hi All! I can't believe it's been over 2 months since I posted! I am coming up for air for a moment, since I needed to take a week off of school, but I hope you are all doing well!

Owen is doing great. He's trying really hard to raise money for top surgery, but when it is hard for him to ask for help, it can be tedious. We are now concentrating on hysterectomy/oopherectomy, which is something that can be paid for by insurance. He did set up a top surgery date, but unless he gets a huge outpouring of help between then and now, it won't happen. If you would like to help, that would be lovely! I, too suck at asking for help. You can go Here if you would like to donate.

He received a "Come to Jesus" letter in the mail from his paternal grandpa. He didn't read it, but I did. It talked about how he knows people that are like this who still live as women and are fine with that. Well, I do plan on writing a letter to him. There is a name for that. It is called gender non-conformity. I am a good example of that. I really want him to see that Owen isn't sinning, and that he has had his own talk with God on this matter, but I don't know. Any thoughts? I could use them.

Meeting New People

I would love your feedback. I have moved since October, since I got a new job that was a 30 mile commute PLUS a lot of traveling during work hours, so I have moved up just north of Seattle.

I feel, whether it is because I no longer take any kind of medication or what, that I realize I am not connecting to people anymore. My old friends are very busy, and seem far away, and I seem to have a tough time making new friends. Here in Seattle, it seems harder to make friends, anyway.

I would love some pointers, so let me know if you have any ideas. Keep in mind, I have 2 jobs now, so I work around 56 hours/ wk.

Thanks!

For A Cause

Hi All!

I know, you are probably thinking I fell off the face of the earth! Not quite. Just a very busy person. I hope you all are well. It has been quite a (almost) year since I last posted, and I wish I have been keeping up on this blog for a couple reasons. Firstly, I don't like to just drop off the face of the earth, even though I probably had let you know, and second, I do think that consistency is key, especially when I am asking for help.

Owen is trying to fundraise for his top surgery. We are both not that good at asking for help when it comes to money, but he did ask me to post his fundraiser. I am not asking you to give, but if you know of people who would like to help, or if you feel comfortable being a safe place to post this, I would be obliged. I know how much this will mean to him, and he is also asking for a certain amount so he raises the rest on his own, which is great!

His fundraiser is wwwDOTyoucaringDOTcom/medical-fundraiser/help-owen-get-top-surgery-/154447 .

We are not crafty, and as much as I would like to think we are poets (I have a blog, so it's true, I know it!) I really don't have anything to write except the gratitude that comes from generous people!

I also am going to try to post more in the future. I have a lot to say, and this seems to put my thoughts in order. :)

Just to let you know, O is doing great. He is learning a lot about himself. He has his ups and downs, but he sees them differently now, and it is so much nicer. :)

Rolling with the punches

I have been working in a temporary position for five months now. One thing I know is that they aren't going to hire me.  However, yesterday, when I was helping my supervisor with resumes (I honestly hate this job so much that I'm helping with resumes), and specifically asked, "what is the biggest strength you want?" She replies "hee hee--they have to be an awesome scheduler." Now, I know I suck at schedules. I pity the poor people who got scheduled incorrectly under my watch. I KNOW I have done the very best I can to schedule people, and sometimes I have a rigid spine, and sometimes it turns to jelly, but it still stings when, in not so many words, I am told that I suck at my job in the most important way. Now, by the age of 40, I dreamed that I would have this awesome backbone that was rigid and tough, and no one would be able to shatter me. HA! At 40 I'm far from that, but one thing I found I AM good at is rolling with the punches, for the most part.

When Owen came out, I was concerned about what other people thought, how they would react, whether I would be friends with them again, and all the things that I used to deem important. You find out really quick how unimportant that can be. I know that I have re-hashed this story many times, but I really honestly think that, if it wasn't for Owen, I would not have changed as much as into the person that I needed to be. Yes, I still wonder what others think, and I will always be concerned about the crime rate among LGBTQ people, but the wondering about things is wondering, not CARING, and the fact that I have a person who I get to see blossom in so many ways, makes me happy. And, do you know what? Most of my friends who I had to tell are STILL my friends. Some don't understand, some do, but they are still friends who love the person that is Owen. It is through them, along with my new friends, that I learned how to figure this whole thing out! Now to just get the job I want. :)

Hi all! I've missed writing. I forget how therapeutic blogging/journaling can be until I start writing. Right now Owen is feeling stressed. We don't have a lot of money, and top surgery is becoming a very necessary thing at this point. Please give us any prayers and advice to fundraising that you may know of. When I say fundraising, I mean, what do people like? Can I make jewelry and turn a profit in my (what?) spare time? Any ideas? Thank you for sticking with me! Gretchen

Who?

Hi Everyone. I wanted to stop by. I realize how important it is to blog once in a while. I've made some changes this past few months. I haven't checked, but I think I mentioned that I'm unemployed the last time I was on here. I'm searching for a job desperately. The best note, though, is I realize that sisters forgive. I used to write scathing blogs about my sister. She did not deserve that. I realized that she has been one of my biggest supporters regarding Owen's transition, yet I assumed her to be the biggest judge. So, this past few months have been one of me healing my heart of its bitterness and moving forward. It feels sooooooo good. Still writing my book, and I'm going to school, too. In the midst of all that, I still found time to have a boyfriend. So weird. I hope that, if you have stuck with me, that you're well. Take a moment to say hi! I would love to hear from you!

Hi All! I have the good fortune of living in Seattle, so I was able to go to the Seattle Gender Odyssey Conference that was held this weekend. If you went, I want you to comment and let me know how you liked it! I know that I've been lax about posting, and I usually gave you a reason, but I just wanted to stop by. I'm working on a paper for my Psych class right now, so I'm taking a break. I think it helps to go to another topic in order to re-group. The conference was great, and it really educated me in many ways. It's nice to go to a place where you have a common ground. There are some things that I realized about myself while I was there that were both surprising and informative, yet I'm glad that they are there, and I'm not getting into them today. It's not the reason for this exercise. The reason for this exercise is that I tend to really hate Facebook right now. So much stuff that I don't like. Politics, hate stuff. UGH. But I did find this on there. I commented on it that there are days where I question myself, so this was nice to wake up to. The nice thing about conferences and education on this stuff is I can say that what bad parenting techniques I DID have had nothing to do with how my son turned out. It's not something I DIDN'T know, it's just a good reinforcement. I do wonder something, though, as I was looking at a FB friend who I really don't talk to a lot. Do you ever see people in pictures or something and wonder if they're hiding something, or are sinister in some way (I ask that because I see that)? If he is, whatever that may be, and he doesn't act it out, does that make him a better person than my son, who is "sinning" by being a gay male? I ask that because he is very much against anything LGBTQ. Just wondering. I would love your thoughts. PLEASE! I KNOW YOU READ THIS! :D